18 Questions to Ask Yourself

So every once in while, you might get the feeling that you’re stuck in a rut, monotony, a cycle of doom, or whatever else you might call it. It’s important to really check in with yourself, mentally and emotionally, so that you can figure out a way to move forward in life. If you’re finding it a bit difficult to get the ball rolling, it’s helpful to have a list of questions to ask yourself, to get to know yourself, your needs, your desires, a little better.

Here are 18 questions that I often consider whenever I’m going through one of those “I’m stuck, poor me” moods!

Questions to ask yourself

Do I enjoy my daily activities?
Do I like my current job?
Do I prefer to work for a company, or do I want to run my own business?
If I had to listen to my friends speak frankly about me, would I like what they have to say about me?
What are my top 3 positive personality traits?
What are my top 3 negative personality traits?
What am I insecure about?
Do I feel energized after spending time with the people who are around me the most? Or do I usually feel drained?
Do I feel confident when talking to someone new about my work, career, accomplishments, etc.?
Do I prefer to have a structured schedule, or to just go with the flow?
Do I prefer being indoors, or being outdoors?
Do I like working on my own? Or do I prefer to work in a team?
Do I feel like I can express myself as freely as I’d like to?
Is there a certain way I typically handle conflict with other people? Does it actually help, or often make things worse?
Do I have any habits I want to quit?
Do I feel comfortable at home?
Do I tend to hold onto things for a long time “just in case”, or do I let go of things I have no need for?
When I see someone doing something I’ve wanted to do, do I feel genuinely happy for them? Or do I feel jealous?

There are so many more questions I sometimes ask myself, but we’re not going to turn this post into a whole novel. Ha ha. What are some questions you consider when you’re feeling like it’s time for a change in your life? Let me know! 💖

2021-04-30 2

Impromptu Break

For the past month or so, I haven’t posted anything on my blog. And I barely posted and interacted on social media in general. For some reason, I just felt… blocked. Each time I tried to post something, it just didn’t feel right. I know what you might be thinking, and trust me, I’ve thought it too: “Just do it!” Right? But I’m big on energy. The energy didn’t feel right. And so, to preserve my own energy, I decided to just take a break from the online world.

It was a much needed transition from 2020 into 2021.

Often, we act like things will automatically change when the year changes, or when the month changes, or when the season changes. And that’s not truly the case, which is why new year’s resolutions often fail. Small, gradual lifestyle changes are much more likely to stick. And these lead to greater, more profound changes that will really make a nice impact on your life. This year, instead of coming up with resolutions that I know I won’t stick to, I’ve been thinking about what I want to experience and how I want to impact people. And the little changes I can implement here and there to help me reach those goals.

A few things I will do my best to commit to are…

Consistency. This one is difficult, as a full-time employee and single mother. Getting anything else done, besides working for my regular paycheck and taking care of my little one, is a struggle more often than not. My number one priority is my son, and I don’t want to take away from quality time with him during the very important toddler years. He’s learning and growing so much everyday! Lately, we have been working on ways to keep him happily occupied while I take care of other tasks.

New Content. When I first started this blog, it was really just a place where I’d upload travel pics, random thoughts, poems, and even recipes. I ended up deciding to stick with mainly poetry and travel pics. But I would like to try expanding my blog and test out a wider range of topics. Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you like and what you want to see more of!

Interaction. In the past few months, I’ve come to learn that the blogging world mostly consists of bloggers encouraging, uplifting and supporting each other! I love the community energy and will do my best to engage more. 💗

Confidence. I’ve been doing self-healing work, acknowledging my shadows, and letting go of the need for perfection. Throughout my life, I’ve dealt with bouts of low self-esteem and perfectionism (a terrible combo). So I aim to just flow more freely and openly going forward. One baby step at a time though 😅

Anyway…

That’s an update on where I’ve been. Not missing in action, just working on my energy. I love you all and can’t wait to share positive vibes!

If you’ve got any tips or advice for any of my commitments, or any feedback in general, I’m all ears!

2021-01-14 3

Family Roles During Holidays!

Does each person in your family have a specific unofficial role during holidays and other special occasions? Because in mine, we pretty much all have a role! 😅

I grew up always wanting to be a lot like my mom, so I’d be in the kitchen with her watching her cook every day. We’d bake different desserts together. She’d let me try my own thing sometimes, too. Inventar, as the Latin mommas say!

And if you didn’t catch on, my mom’s unofficial official role was head chef for all our special occasions. Why? It’s simple. She loves to cook. She cooks with lots of love and it’s obvious once you smell, see and taste her amazing dishes!

But while she cooks all the main dishes for all occasions, it’s up to me to select and create dessert! It’s not my only role, but it’s probably my favorite! 🤷‍♀️ Let’s walk through the different things expected of each person in my immediate family during a holiday. Christmas, to be specific!

Gift Shopping

This one’s on everyone pretty much. But more often than not, everyone is asking me for help picking out gifts for everyone! I don’t mind, as I love the feeling of satisfaction when someone opens a gift I helped pick out and they actually love it! I think I’m pretty good at shopping! My dad somehow gets dragged to all the stores too, so I’d say main shoppers are my dad and I. Sorry Dad!

Food

My mom tends to go all out in the kitchen for holidays, but she doesn’t do it alone! My brother’s wife is also an amazing cook, and sometimes, I can barely tell the difference between her food and my mom’s! And that’s a big deal! My mom typically does the main dishes, while my sister-in-law does the sides. And as mentioned previously, I take care of dessert! My dad always sets the table though!

Entertainment

For just about any occasion, we can count on my brother to provide the music as well as what we watch on TV. Does he take suggestions though? 😬 If you’re nice?

Beverage

This one’s on my dad, brother and sister. And it’s usually a last minute trip to the liquor store! Haha But typically it’s my dad or sister pouring drinks, or just being the main ones drinking!

Gift Wrapping

Maybe it’s because of my attention to detail, but for some reason, everyone’s gifts end up in my closet for me to wrap up…I don’t mind though! The fun part is I end up not labeling any gifts in an obvious way, so only I know what’s what!

Playing with the Kids

Kids make holidays even more special, especially Christmas, where you get to see them smile when they open up their presents! But they also need entertainment! I’m really good at keeping them (my nephews and my son) occupied, but my sister and my sister-in-law are great as well!

Wrapping Up the Night

At the end of a great holiday, comes time to clean up and put things away. Everyone tries to pitch in, but inevitably my mom and sister-in-law take care of the kitchen disproportionately, while the rest of us take care of all the other things.

I sometimes wonder what kind of roles my son and my nephews will take on in our family, as they get older. 🤔

What about you? Do you have a certain role in your family, especially during the holidays? I’d love to know if your family is similar to mine or totally different! 💗

2020-12-15 0

Everyday is a Holiday, a poem

From the day you were born

And almost 9 months before

I knew that I’d love you

Forever and more

From your cute little curls

To your ten little toes

The way that you hug me

Really warms up my heart

The smile on your face

Is all that I need

I never imagined I could love someone this much

And I never thought I could be so loved in return

So this holiday season, I give thanks to the Universe, Source, God, etc.

For everyday is a holiday

Because I have you in my arms

2020-12-09 1

Childhood Holiday Memories

Flashback to my childhood… my whole extended family gathered together on Christmas eve. Afro-Latino party music playing in the background. Sometimes merengue, sometimes salsa, sometimes bachata. Always the right mood.

Kids all running around, trying to not get in the adults’ way. Playing together. Joking together. Catching up in the way kids do.

Dinner served. Drinks served. Jokes laughed at. People dancing. People being outrageously loud.

Kids waiting anxiously until midnight, so we could start opening gifts. Quickly getting sleepy. Going home at 1 or 2 in the morning. The cold, winter chill in your face.

Quick change into warm PJs. Snuggle up in bed with a cozy comforter. Lights out and off to dream worlds.

Wake up early in the morning, open up any remaining gifts that were left at home. Mom fries empanadas. Hot chocolate to wash it down.

A relaxing day at home with mom and dad and siblings. No school. No work. Nothing important to do except to be in each other’s company.

These are the memories I have of Christmas, growing up in New York with all my family around. Things may not be exactly the same, but I’m fond of the memories and fond of newer memories and traditions. I hope my son can look back at his childhood in a similar way.

What are your holiday traditions? Will you pass them on to your children (if you have any or plan to have any)? What are your fondest memories of holidays growing up? I want to know! 💗

2020-12-07 2

Holiday Music…Part 2!

Today has been an exhausting day, so today’s post is another playlist. These Christmas songs are a bit more pop and/or R&B. I hope you enjoy! 🎶🎶🎶

Lola M Kelly: Fresh Modern Holiday Mood (YouTube Music)

2020-12-04 0

Things I Love About the Holidays

For this 3rd day of Blogmas, I just wanted to share some things I love about the holiday season, in no particular order! I hope you’ll share with me the things that you love about the holiday season as well!

People are in a happier, more positive, uplifted mood, generally.

I just love the extra good vibes from people. People just seem… nicer? I don’t know. I’m sure if you work in retail, you maybe don’t feel like people are nicer (I’ve worked retail before and it sucks around the holidays! 😬) but at least the people I surround myself with are, so I hope your family and friends are cheerful for you too!

The festive look of things!

Hello, string lights, tinsel, bells, holly, mistletoe, round and shiny ornaments! Need I say more?! Everything just looks so pretty and fun! I love driving around to see decorated sites. If you decorate the outside of your house, thank you! 😅

Okay, so this one might turn a few heads but…

Jesus is not the only reason for the season! 😬 There, I said it! I’m not going to go on a tangent and explain my spirituality in this post. To summarize, I grew up Catholic and have been baptized and did my Holy Communion, but I’ve studied other spiritual practices on my own. I don’t consider myself religious at all. I don’t do the whole Church thing; even when I was a child, my family wasn’t very heavily focused on that. I grew up very conscious of the history of different religions so I am open minded and don’t like to label myself.

But back to my point! Other holidays are occurring during the “holiday season” besides just Christmas! There’s Hanukkah! There’s Kwanzaa! There’s whatever you want to make of the holiday season!

Also, some Christmas traditions come from a pagan holiday called Saturnalia! Fun facts!

Gift-giving! Let’s be real!

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the fun act of giving and receiving gifts! Having to figure out the perfect thing to get for someone you love or appreciate and seeing their face of joy when they receive it! And receiving thoughtful gifts from people who genuinely love you! It’s so joyful! For me, it’s not at all about the price tag either! It’s about the thought that goes into all of it! It’s beautiful to me!

So yeah…

Those are really my main things I love about the holidays, plus the additional quality family time! Especially now that I have a little one! 🥰

What are some things you love about the holiday season? Things you don’t like? I wanna know!

2020-12-03 0

Holiday Music! 🎄🎶

On the second day of Blogmas, Lola M Kelly gave to me…🎙🎼💿

*Sings way off key*

Okay, but seriously, here is a playlist I just created to help start the holiday mood! A little bit of blues, a little bit of Motown! I’ll make another playlist soon with more modern Christmas covers/originals!

Lola M Kelly: Holiday Mood (on YouTube Music)